As the author of When God Disappoints, I believe you'll get much more help if you read the book. But I want to make the Bible study available for free to all who are struggling with being disappointed in God. Let me know your questions or comments at [email protected] The five studies that are in the book are found below.
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God is based on wrong assumptions about God.
1) Jesus said outside things (events and circumstances) do not truly make people say or do evil things; evil hearts make people say or do evil things (Luke 6:45). In a similar way, disappointment in God typically doesn’t occur from some event or person that has caused us harm. It is rooted in some wrong assumption about God and how God is supposed to work in our lives.
Take a moment now and reflect on these two things: Is there some issue in your life in which you are disappointed in God? Secondly, what is the root of your disappointment in God? For example in Chapter 1, I discussed a woman who was angry at God because He didn’t give her the man she believed she was supposed to marry. That was the issue, but it really wasn’t the root of the problem.
The root for her was likely that she didn’t trust or believe that God really had her best interests at heart. Ultimately, she didn’t trust that God knew that her being married—or being married to that particular man—was a bad choice for her life.
The reason I am disappointed in God is:
The root of this issue is likely because:
(Here are a few examples of root causes to help you think)
I think God is unfair or unjust.
I don’t think God loves me.
I think God doesn’t forgive me.
God is hard to please.
I don’t think God wants me to be happy.
I can’t trust Him anymore.
God doesn’t answer my prayers.
God doesn’t work in my life.
2) Examine the passages below. They all describe the character of God. At some point, you either must believe that these passages tell the truth about God (and therefore, your experiences and feelings don’t), or you believe these passages are untrue. Briefly write down what they teach about God.
Deuteronomy 32:4 Isaiah 40:27-31
Psalm 32:8-9 Isaiah 46:9-10
Psalm 36:7-9 Jeremiah 29:11-12
Psalm 91:14-16 Matthew 11:28-30
Psalm 103:1-14 Luke 18:19
From your study of the passages above, what do you think you need to believe about God?
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God blinds you in regards to what God actually is doing.
1) I mentioned that in our disappointment in God we often miss “the dollar bill on the pavement.” Sometimes, like it was for me, we are so frustrated and discouraged we don’t see it. Sometimes, like Mary in John 11, we can’t see it, no matter how hard we try.
Stop and think for a moment. If you are disappointed in God right now and going through a storm, what might the dollar bill on the pavement be that you’re missing? What might God be doing in this storm? Here are some possibilities:
He desires to change your perspective on things like money, work, friendships or leisure.
He desires to change your desires concerning things like eating, sex, anger or gossip.
He desires to change your practice of things like prayer, worship or Christian ministry.
The point of this exercise is not to beat yourself up looking for the magic answer—like Job did—in trying to figure out why this storm is happening in your life. Again, like Mary, it may not be evident, regardless of how much you pray and examine your life. But maybe the dollar bill is on the pavement and, in your discouragement, you’re missing it.
2) I also mentioned in this chapter that God brings storms in our lives for a variety of reasons. Four of those reasons may be:
1) He is testing His people (1 Peter 4:12). That is, He is testing them to reveal truth within them, both individually and corporately, as well as testing them to reveal weakness and sin, so that His people might repent and grow in His image.
2) He needs to rebuke them and bring them to repentance (Amos 4:6-11). It is the two-by-four between the eyes that Jonah and the Prodigal Son needed to bring them to their senses (Luke 15:11-17).
3) His people may share in the sufferings of Christ (2 Timothy 2:3; John 15:20). In one of the mysteries of sanctification, we grow in Christ-likeness by both experiencing the euphoria of things like granted prayer requests, as well as the sorrow of sufferings.
4) He seeks to glorify Himself in the victory He alone can bring in these storms (John 11:1-4).
Examine the “storms” of the men and women described in the Scripture references below. Consider these questions: What was the “storm” that God brought into their lives? What might have been a reason (or reasons) God chose to do this? With which of these “storms” do you most relate to when you consider your life right now?
Jacob (Genesis 27-29) Esther (2-7)
Joseph (37; 39-43) David (1 Samuel 16-23)
Israel (Exodus 14) Daniel (Daniel 6)
Naomi (Ruth 1-2) Paul (Acts 27)
Why did you choose one or more of these storms as far as it relates to your life?
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God leads to death
1) I briefly discussed Saul as an example of a man who continued down the path of disappointment in God, eventually leading to his death. Consider Saul and these other biblical examples of men and women who were disappointed in God but did not repent. Read the passages and answer these questions:
A) With what do you think the person was disappointed in God?
B) What was the result of not resolving their disappointment in God?
C) With which of these stories do you more closely relate?
Cain
Genesis 4:2-8:
Lot’s Daughters
Genesis 19:30-38:
Rebekah (concerning Jacob)
Genesis 25:21-28 (note the end of verse 25 and verse 28)
Joseph’s Brothers
Genesis 37:3-11:
Saul
1 Samuel 18:5-9 (See also 1 Samuel 10:1; 8):
2) While my account of Satan tempting someone in their disappointment with God in this chapter is fictitious, the basic theme of his attacks contained in them are not. Satan typically attacks in this manner by slandering God in three main ways:
He questions the goodness of God.
He questions the authority and immutable nature of God’s Word.
He questions the love God has for people.
(See Genesis 3:1-5 and Matthew 4:1-10).
Look at those three main ways Satan attacks, but now personalize them. In other words, how does Satan question the goodness of God in your life (what he allows and does not allow)? How does Satan question the authority and unchangeableness of His Word in your life (the promises He has made to you; those that are more general as a child of God and those that are unique to you)? How does Satan question the love God has for you (why He allows or doesn’t allow certain things to happen in your life)?
If you are in the “belly of the sea monster,” be honest: which attack(s) has most hit the mark with you? What lies have you believed? Be specific and write them down.
Look at what you wrote down. Deep in your heart, you know these are not true, regardless of how you feel. Pray over this now and ask for God’s help, healing and forgiveness.
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God is rooted in selfish ambition.
One of the most difficult things I had to admit in my disappointment in God was that, I, like Jonah, had my own agenda in what I thought God should be doing in my life and in my ministry. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
Inadvertent Selfish Ambition
Sometimes there seems to be a fine line in seeking what we believe God wants us to do (or be doing) versus what God intends for us to do.
1) Write down three things you are seeking that are “good” things, things that you believe would benefit you, your family, or your ministry, yet these “good” things are not happening.
2) Be honest with yourself as you evaluate that list. Are these issues causing you to either distrust or become complacent in your relationship with God? Why?
3) What are some reasons God could not be doing this? Contemplate some of these reasons, and then ask God for wisdom regarding the possible explanations for why this is not happening in your life:
2 Corinthians 6:2 (NASB)—It’s not yet God’s acceptable time.
Genesis 15:13-16—God is still “setting the stage” of your life.
Hebrews 5:14—Maturity; you may not be ready to “handle” what you think you can.
Genesis 6:13-15; 19:12-13 and many other warnings—God audibly warned His people of disaster that was coming. He may silently (through circumstances) be keeping you from unforeseen problems that would arise if your requests were granted..
Demanding Our Rights
1) Is there something that has been taken away from you? Is there some wound God allowed to happen that has still not healed? Write it down.
2) Again, be honest with yourself: what do you feel God owes you in this life? Please don’t write down a pat, biblical answer from your head. Write down what is really going on in your heart. Real change can never occur until you break through the scab of this wound. What do you feel God owes you in this life?
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God is rooted in a lack of eternal perspective.
1) In the passages below, consider:
(A) The goals and perspectives these men might have had in their unique circumstances.
(B) God’s goals and perspectives in those circumstances.
Joshua (Joshua 5:13-14)
Samuel (1 Samuel 16:1-7)
Ananias (Acts 9:10-16)
2) In the passages below, consider:
(A) The trials (based on their own sins or the sins of others) these men faced in their journey through life.
(B) The ultimate outcome God intended for them.
Jacob (Genesis 27-35:26)
Joseph (Genesis 37; 39-47; 50:15-21)
Paul (Romans 1:14-15; Acts 21:7-14; Acts 23-28)
Meditate on these passages as you consider your own life. You may not be able to relate to these men in the Bible. But perhaps, based on the observations you have written down, there may be a common thread or theme you are experiencing in your disappointment in God. Write down your meditations, pray over them, and consider what God may be doing in your life based on these biblical examples.
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God is based on wrong assumptions about God.
1) Jesus said outside things (events and circumstances) do not truly make people say or do evil things; evil hearts make people say or do evil things (Luke 6:45). In a similar way, disappointment in God typically doesn’t occur from some event or person that has caused us harm. It is rooted in some wrong assumption about God and how God is supposed to work in our lives.
Take a moment now and reflect on these two things: Is there some issue in your life in which you are disappointed in God? Secondly, what is the root of your disappointment in God? For example in Chapter 1, I discussed a woman who was angry at God because He didn’t give her the man she believed she was supposed to marry. That was the issue, but it really wasn’t the root of the problem.
The root for her was likely that she didn’t trust or believe that God really had her best interests at heart. Ultimately, she didn’t trust that God knew that her being married—or being married to that particular man—was a bad choice for her life.
The reason I am disappointed in God is:
The root of this issue is likely because:
(Here are a few examples of root causes to help you think)
I think God is unfair or unjust.
I don’t think God loves me.
I think God doesn’t forgive me.
God is hard to please.
I don’t think God wants me to be happy.
I can’t trust Him anymore.
God doesn’t answer my prayers.
God doesn’t work in my life.
2) Examine the passages below. They all describe the character of God. At some point, you either must believe that these passages tell the truth about God (and therefore, your experiences and feelings don’t), or you believe these passages are untrue. Briefly write down what they teach about God.
Deuteronomy 32:4 Isaiah 40:27-31
Psalm 32:8-9 Isaiah 46:9-10
Psalm 36:7-9 Jeremiah 29:11-12
Psalm 91:14-16 Matthew 11:28-30
Psalm 103:1-14 Luke 18:19
From your study of the passages above, what do you think you need to believe about God?
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God blinds you in regards to what God actually is doing.
1) I mentioned that in our disappointment in God we often miss “the dollar bill on the pavement.” Sometimes, like it was for me, we are so frustrated and discouraged we don’t see it. Sometimes, like Mary in John 11, we can’t see it, no matter how hard we try.
Stop and think for a moment. If you are disappointed in God right now and going through a storm, what might the dollar bill on the pavement be that you’re missing? What might God be doing in this storm? Here are some possibilities:
He desires to change your perspective on things like money, work, friendships or leisure.
He desires to change your desires concerning things like eating, sex, anger or gossip.
He desires to change your practice of things like prayer, worship or Christian ministry.
The point of this exercise is not to beat yourself up looking for the magic answer—like Job did—in trying to figure out why this storm is happening in your life. Again, like Mary, it may not be evident, regardless of how much you pray and examine your life. But maybe the dollar bill is on the pavement and, in your discouragement, you’re missing it.
2) I also mentioned in this chapter that God brings storms in our lives for a variety of reasons. Four of those reasons may be:
1) He is testing His people (1 Peter 4:12). That is, He is testing them to reveal truth within them, both individually and corporately, as well as testing them to reveal weakness and sin, so that His people might repent and grow in His image.
2) He needs to rebuke them and bring them to repentance (Amos 4:6-11). It is the two-by-four between the eyes that Jonah and the Prodigal Son needed to bring them to their senses (Luke 15:11-17).
3) His people may share in the sufferings of Christ (2 Timothy 2:3; John 15:20). In one of the mysteries of sanctification, we grow in Christ-likeness by both experiencing the euphoria of things like granted prayer requests, as well as the sorrow of sufferings.
4) He seeks to glorify Himself in the victory He alone can bring in these storms (John 11:1-4).
Examine the “storms” of the men and women described in the Scripture references below. Consider these questions: What was the “storm” that God brought into their lives? What might have been a reason (or reasons) God chose to do this? With which of these “storms” do you most relate to when you consider your life right now?
Jacob (Genesis 27-29) Esther (2-7)
Joseph (37; 39-43) David (1 Samuel 16-23)
Israel (Exodus 14) Daniel (Daniel 6)
Naomi (Ruth 1-2) Paul (Acts 27)
Why did you choose one or more of these storms as far as it relates to your life?
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God leads to death
1) I briefly discussed Saul as an example of a man who continued down the path of disappointment in God, eventually leading to his death. Consider Saul and these other biblical examples of men and women who were disappointed in God but did not repent. Read the passages and answer these questions:
A) With what do you think the person was disappointed in God?
B) What was the result of not resolving their disappointment in God?
C) With which of these stories do you more closely relate?
Cain
Genesis 4:2-8:
Lot’s Daughters
Genesis 19:30-38:
Rebekah (concerning Jacob)
Genesis 25:21-28 (note the end of verse 25 and verse 28)
Joseph’s Brothers
Genesis 37:3-11:
Saul
1 Samuel 18:5-9 (See also 1 Samuel 10:1; 8):
2) While my account of Satan tempting someone in their disappointment with God in this chapter is fictitious, the basic theme of his attacks contained in them are not. Satan typically attacks in this manner by slandering God in three main ways:
He questions the goodness of God.
He questions the authority and immutable nature of God’s Word.
He questions the love God has for people.
(See Genesis 3:1-5 and Matthew 4:1-10).
Look at those three main ways Satan attacks, but now personalize them. In other words, how does Satan question the goodness of God in your life (what he allows and does not allow)? How does Satan question the authority and unchangeableness of His Word in your life (the promises He has made to you; those that are more general as a child of God and those that are unique to you)? How does Satan question the love God has for you (why He allows or doesn’t allow certain things to happen in your life)?
If you are in the “belly of the sea monster,” be honest: which attack(s) has most hit the mark with you? What lies have you believed? Be specific and write them down.
Look at what you wrote down. Deep in your heart, you know these are not true, regardless of how you feel. Pray over this now and ask for God’s help, healing and forgiveness.
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God is rooted in selfish ambition.
One of the most difficult things I had to admit in my disappointment in God was that, I, like Jonah, had my own agenda in what I thought God should be doing in my life and in my ministry. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
Inadvertent Selfish Ambition
Sometimes there seems to be a fine line in seeking what we believe God wants us to do (or be doing) versus what God intends for us to do.
1) Write down three things you are seeking that are “good” things, things that you believe would benefit you, your family, or your ministry, yet these “good” things are not happening.
2) Be honest with yourself as you evaluate that list. Are these issues causing you to either distrust or become complacent in your relationship with God? Why?
3) What are some reasons God could not be doing this? Contemplate some of these reasons, and then ask God for wisdom regarding the possible explanations for why this is not happening in your life:
2 Corinthians 6:2 (NASB)—It’s not yet God’s acceptable time.
Genesis 15:13-16—God is still “setting the stage” of your life.
Hebrews 5:14—Maturity; you may not be ready to “handle” what you think you can.
Genesis 6:13-15; 19:12-13 and many other warnings—God audibly warned His people of disaster that was coming. He may silently (through circumstances) be keeping you from unforeseen problems that would arise if your requests were granted..
Demanding Our Rights
1) Is there something that has been taken away from you? Is there some wound God allowed to happen that has still not healed? Write it down.
2) Again, be honest with yourself: what do you feel God owes you in this life? Please don’t write down a pat, biblical answer from your head. Write down what is really going on in your heart. Real change can never occur until you break through the scab of this wound. What do you feel God owes you in this life?
When God Disappoints
Personal Bible Study
Disappointment in God is rooted in a lack of eternal perspective.
1) In the passages below, consider:
(A) The goals and perspectives these men might have had in their unique circumstances.
(B) God’s goals and perspectives in those circumstances.
Joshua (Joshua 5:13-14)
Samuel (1 Samuel 16:1-7)
Ananias (Acts 9:10-16)
2) In the passages below, consider:
(A) The trials (based on their own sins or the sins of others) these men faced in their journey through life.
(B) The ultimate outcome God intended for them.
Jacob (Genesis 27-35:26)
Joseph (Genesis 37; 39-47; 50:15-21)
Paul (Romans 1:14-15; Acts 21:7-14; Acts 23-28)
Meditate on these passages as you consider your own life. You may not be able to relate to these men in the Bible. But perhaps, based on the observations you have written down, there may be a common thread or theme you are experiencing in your disappointment in God. Write down your meditations, pray over them, and consider what God may be doing in your life based on these biblical examples.
